I think it is so valuable to take some time contemplating the year that has just past and seeing what can be learned and what that means for the year ahead. Not to learn from what you’ve experienced in the past year would be a waste! I decided to share with you the review I am doing in my own business, in case it is the inspiration or motivation you need to do the same.
One mental shift that can get you unstuck and on your way to success
Just ONE mental shift Cori? You may well ask.
Well, if you’ve been round these parts for long enough, you’ll know that I happen to believe - well really, I know - that success hinges almost entirely on your mindset.
So in fact, getting to your vision of success, feeling successful, is really a series of mental shifts.
But let’s start with one important one today, shall we?
It’s a biggun.
And I’ll tell you what it is in just a sec.
A quick (and relevant) story...
But first I want to tell you about my Netflix rule.
Stay with me, it’s totally relevant. Promise.
So when I very first started working from home, back in the early days of my business. Well, before I’d even launched to be precise…
My husband asked how I was finding it, working from home.
“Do you find it easy to be productive? Don’t you get distracted by other stuff?” he asked.
“No”, I replied with a self-satisfied smile.
“I have a NO NETFLIX IN THE DAYTIME rule” was my proud declaration.
In fact, I told several people about this rule. Feeling pleased with my self-discipline.
What I later came to realise however, was that this discipline-inducing rule, was in fact, doing some harmful self-signalling.
Have you heard me talk about self-signalling before?
If not, in a nutshell it means the little messages your behaviour sends your brain which reinforce what you think about yourself.
So why was this harmful?
Well, by creating this RULE, I was telling myself that I needed a rule.
That I couldn’t be trusted to watch Netflix in the day.
That if I dared fire it up over lunch say, then I would be doomed to an unproductive afternoon sprawled on the sofa, passively consuming episode after episode of Gilmore Girls, achieving nothing.
That my business would never get off the ground.
That I would surely succumb to being an unemployed telly-addict, if it weren’t for the RULE.
So what IS this one mental shift then, that can propel you faster towards success?
The clue was in that story.
Yep, that’s right: trust.
Let me ask you a question.
Do you trust yourself fully?
We think a fair bit about who we do and don’t trust in life. But we seem to spend very little time thinking about whether we trust ourselves.
Maybe there is an implicit assumption that we do.
But scratch the surface and often we find a very different situation.
As I just demonstrated with my Netflix rule.
The thing is, how much you trust yourself directly relates to how quickly you will achieve your vision of success.
And I’m speaking as a person who hasn’t always trusted herself, so I know.
Because little signals of self-mistrust accumulate a compound effect over time.
They corrode our self-believe.
And you better BELIEVE that self-belief is critical to your success.
So let’s just take a look at why trust is so important.
Why Trust Is So Damn Important To Your Success
1. It helps you make decisions
Want to own a successful business (whatever success means to you)?
Then you KNOW you need to get good at making decisions.
By which I do NOT mean always making the right ones.
But making them fast.
Want to get to success faster? Make decisions faster.
I’m not saying start deciding stuff all over the place with reckless abandon. Or not bothering to make an informed decision.
But decide you must.
Procrastination is one of the 3 P’s of Peril as I call them. It does you NO service.
And really, at the root of a propensity to procrastinate is a fear. Fear of making the wrong decision.
Where TRUST comes in, is in trusting yourself to make decisions.
Trusting yourself to make the decision as best you can with the information you have at the time.
AND - this is the critical one - trusting yourself to figure it out if the decision you made turns out to have been the wrong one.
THAT is the trust that will keep you moving forward, keep you on the path to success.
2. It helps you take action and consistent
Want to know the only real differences between you and someone you admire as being successful according to your definition of success?
1 // They believed it was possible for them and held on to that belief
2 // They took consistent action
Now don’t be mistaken that the consistent action has to be massive action, all hard work and effort. Most of the time, in the case of those who have achieved success in a healthy way (i.e. without burnout and massive stress), the actions which were most critical to their success were small, but - and here’s the key - CONSISTENTLY applied things.
Things like committing to performing at least one sales activity. Every single day.
Or like journaling and visualising success. Every single day.
It is the consistency that pips it.
Here’s the thing with trusting yourself.
If you feel like you have put RULES in place for yourself to achieve what you want to achieve - aka cultivating that consistency - then you aren’t trusting yourself.
And if you aren’t trusting yourself, you are telling yourself you aren’t trust-WORTHY.
There’s that worthiness thing again, did you see?
And the thing is, we tend to live up to our own expectations.
So if you don’t EXPECT yourself to show up and do those small but consistent things that will help your chances of success…
If you tell yourself you NEED rules otherwise you’ll self-sabotage...
Because you aren’t WORTHY of the trust required to just *know* you’ll do what is required…
Then you’re telling yourself that you are inherently an untrustworthy self-sabotager who doesn’t have your own interests at heart.
And that is exactly how your behaviour will pan out.
On the flip side…
If you TRUST yourself enough to listen to your inner guidance. That part of you that KNOWS what is good for you.
If you do that, then being consistent won’t be so “hard”. You will just trust yourself to become the sort of person who takes that consistent action.
Can you see how much EASIER that makes things?
Which leads me to...
3. Things are less rigid. You can relax.
Hopefully you know me well enough by now to know that I don’t believe success has to be hard or difficult or complicated. It should NOT be an uphill struggle.
Fun? Even better.
So here’s the marvellous thing:
When you can TRUST yourself to do what is in your business and your own best interest.
You get to let go of the rules. The structure. The rigidity.
You can RELAX.
And guess what else?
When you relax like that, because you are trusting yourself, rather than policing yourself and wondering when you’re going to f*ck this whole thing up.
When you realise that actually, you CAN’T even f*ck this up.
Because in that moment of relaxing into that feeling of trusting yourself, you open up your ability to allow success into your life so much faster.
Because you aren’t wasting an enormous amount of energy and focus on worry and fear (which are the roots of that mistrust, right?). Life feels easier, more fun.
From that ease comes flow. Which brings you great ideas, inspiration, innovation.
You can use that extra energy and focus to hone in on working SMARTER not harder in your business.
And it all snowballs in the most beautiful way from there.
Let’s Return to The Netflix Story Shall We?
So back to Netflix.
Because I still work largely from home.
And I no longer have that RULE.
So now what?
Well, now I trust myself.
I trust myself not to go down the back-to-back-episode rabbit hole day after day, laying waste to my business.
I trust myself because I know how to listen to my instinct. My intuition. My inner guidance. Inner being. Call it what you want, you know what I’m referring to, right?
Because of this, if I feel inclined to watch some Netflix in the day I can tune straight in to that inner place and know that…
… maybe I have been working hard and need 30 minutes or so of light relief to give my brain some downtime
… maybe watching an episode of something uplifting would just FEEL GOOD
… maybe I am indeed feeling like laying horizontal on the sofa and watching Gilmore Girls all day… and maybe I NEED that because I am in fact a little run down and taking that time to rest would help me.
Those are legit reasons for watching Netflix in the day.
Without the RULE, I can listen to what is good for me. I can trust my decision to watch or not watch as I see fit.
Because I trust myself fully to stay on my path to success.
And, in fact, most of the time I am too busy loving life and biz to even give the fact that Netflix is an option a thought.
Over To You
I’d love you to think about rules you have been imposing on yourself.
Or maybe you don’t have rules, but a lack of trust in yourself has been showing up as an avoidance of something altogether.
Whatever the case, start by noticing when this mistrust pops up.
Examine the fear underneath it.
See if you can re-frame that fear as something positive and more supportive.
See if you can start demonstrating trustworthy behaviour in that space to yourself.
See if you can make that mental shift.
Because - trust me (sorry, couldn’t resist) - you’ll find your path to success SOOOOO much easier if you do.
Are you feeling stuck in your business, success always feeling out of reach? Or maybe you aren’t even connected to what your own vision of success might be? Or perhaps you like the idea of cultivating a deeper trust in yourself to help your path to success but don’t know where to start?
These are all things that I can support you with (and more!) as a Success Coach.
Book yourself a FREE Discovery Call and we can chat about what’s keeping you from success and how I might be able to support you in getting there.
Before we start, I don’t want personal growth to be another stick to beat yourself with.
I don’t want to make you feel like it is something you “should” be doing but maybe aren’t, therefore you’re failing.
What I do want to do, is talk about why spending time on personal growth has been important to me. Why I’m an advocate.
And to help you find ways to work it into your busy life in a way that is realistic for you…
...IF it is something you’re interested in, you will enjoy.
First things first,
What do we even really mean by personal growth?
Well, to me, personal growth is any way that I feel like I am expanding. Expanding my knowledge, expanding spiritually.
Just hopefully not expanding my waistline, lol.
So it doesn’t have to mean self help books with cringey titles (and in fact, while we’re on that point, so-called self-help books are WAY more cool than that now… check out You Are A Badass as an example).
Yes, it could be about working on yourself in some way. But that also includes just general learning. Learning something that interests you, whatever that may be.
It also includes CLARITY.
What do I mean by this? Well, in a nutshell: realising stuff. Stuff about yourself, about the things that are maybe holding you back, about that pesky negative self talk, about the stuff that makes you squirm.
It means noticing those things and instead of ignoring them or running away from them (been there, for sure!) looking them squarely in the eyes and saying “I see you”.
It means noticing them and then trying to do something about them.
So all of this combined, is what I mean when I refer to personal growth.
Not doing it all at once - exhausting! - but for me, I just have a general, loose intention to be noticing and making the most of, opportunities to grow.
To grow as a business owner, mother, woman, just as a human being in general.
What’s so great about personal growth though?
The great thing about it, regardless of whether you are learning marketing strategy or kundalini yoga; whether you are working on your relationships or working on your limiting beliefs; it will ALL (I really mean ALL), help your business.
Quite a bold claim, right?
But hear me out.
Spending time on something - anything - that gives you a feeling of growth, makes you happier.
When you’re happy, your business is happy.
Because you show up as the best version of you, you have more to give, you are more open to innovation and creativity.
All that good stuff.
When you aren’t learning, aren’t growing, you're not going anywhere. You’re staying stuck, staying the same.
And I believe that as humans we are made to learn, to grow, to continuously evolve.
So doing something that makes us feel like we are growing, gives us a sense of momentum, which can propel us towards our vision of success.
Not to mention that you might learn some things that directly relate to and positively impact your business.
Fair enough, but how do I find time for that?
Ahhh time. We are busy Mama’s after all, doing the whole family + biz juggle right.
So I’m going to give you some practical tips to slotting some personal development time into your life, if you feel like it’s something you want to do.
And really though, the key is there: wanting.
If you WANT to find time for personal development, you will.
But you also have to believe you are WORTHY of spending that time on yourself. And perhaps even investing, depending on the kind of development you’re after.
As I mentioned in this post, I see personal development as an aspect of self-care. As a way of looking after yourself, as setting yourself up for success.
Spending time on self-care is a really great way of signalling to yourself that you are worthy. Worthy of time, of investment. This will only increase your self-believe and set you up for success.
Anyway, back to time though.
Don’t have enough time?
Want to find more time?
Perhaps you need to work on your Time Mindset. It’s totally a thing, btw.
Want to find out more? Head over to my FB Group - Self Made Mothers - and join if you haven’t already. Once you’re a member, watch this video on exactly that topic. I think you’re going to love it.
Hacks to make it happen
Ok, maybe you’re sold on why personal growth is important.
It’s something you want to do.
You’ve addressed your Time Mindset.
Now let’s talk about some practical tips - hacks even - to really make it happen.
1. Find what works for YOU
First things first, think about how YOU like to digest content.
For example, since I’ve had my daughter, I am rubbish at reading physical books. I used to be a voracious reader and now, I just get distracted or fall asleep.
So for me, audio books are my friend. They were a total game-changer for me when I discovered them.
Maybe you’re more of a visual learner, in which case hit up YouTube as your source of personal growth inspiration. Or find someone you admire/inspires you and watch their FB lives.
The point is, go after the type of content you find most engagement to give yourself the best chance of sticking with it.
2. Double up
I’ve shared this hack before, but it is a WINNER for the busy Mama.
It is also an excellent way of cultivating a new habit.
Basically you tie your new habit (in this case, personal growth) to an existing habit.
Here are some ideas:
- Read on a commute
- Listen to a podcast/audiobook while watching your child at some activity (I do this while my daughter has her swimming lesson)
- Listen to a podcast/audiobook in the car / at the gym / while doing housework / walking to pick up your kid(s) from school
- Watch a YouTube video/FB live training while in the bath (I do this! Just keep your tech well away from the water obv)
You get the idea.
3. Schedule it in
You know that saying, “if it isn’t in your calendar, it isn’t in your life”?
It’s true, right?
So if you’re struggling to find time for personal growth literally block some time out in your diary.
This is especially effective for the type of personal growth that doesn’t come in a small digestible chunk of content that can be married to another habit as above.
For example, if you’ve been struggling with something and need to seek some more tailored help or support, schedule it in. Stop putting it off. You will feel so much lighter when you tackle that thing, whatever it may be.
For me this looked like enrolling myself on a Stress Management course when I was still working in the corporate world. Or more recently has meant, working with an RTT therapist to get to the bottom of the subconscious link to the headaches that were plaguing me. Or my weekly sessions with my coach.
All different ways that I am committed to working on myself, to learning, growing and well, just making life better and easier for myself.
Think about what you’ve perhaps been putting off, and schedule it in.
Your future self will thank you for it, I promise.
Following on from this last point, we can grow much quicker often with the support of someone else.
That could mean a supportive loved one, friend, mentor or more professional help like a therapist, coach etc.
I was reminded of just how valuable such support can be a couple of weeks ago. I was struggling with something in my business, with it just feeling kind of hard. And as you know, I’m all about business being easy.
After a session with my coach I felt an INCREDIBLE sense of clarity about what was making me feel off.
It was a huge realisation for me. It meant that I was supported in both seeing what the REAL issue was (which could well have taken me YEARS to realise on my own), but also giving myself the permission to just outright STOP the thing that had been zapping my energy in my business.
That single coaching call saved me SO MUCH time, stress, money even. Of course I recognise this in the work I do with my clients, but being on the receiving end really brought it home to me that THIS is the shortcut I am paying for.
I would have been spinning my wheels in my business, trudging on and possibly even eventually feeling disillusioned with the whole thing, had I not this support on hand.
I’m telling you this because, as I’ve said before: you can’t coach yourself.
You can’t support yourself.
We all need people around us, supporting us in our personal growth, so that we can support our business in its growth.
Well, that pretty much sums it up for today my love.
You can TOTALLY count reading this as a check in the Personal Development box for today.
Pat on the back!
I hope I have inspired you to think about being more intentional about factoring personal development into your life for the many benefits it will bring you.
And I hope that you are feeling more empowered to know that you are worth the investment (time and/or money) involved in making it happen.
As usual, I would LOVE to know one way that you are going to be introducing a personal development habit into your life. Head over to Self Made Mothers and let me know.
Would you like some support in your business? Would it feel great to have someone supporting you on your path to success? To have someone helping you find the way to achieve YOUR vision of success on YOUR terms?
I am here for you, lovely!
Schedule in a FREE Discovery Call with me and we can chat about how you might be feeling stuck, unable to hit consistent income months or feeling at a loss as to how to make your vision of success reality. I’ll listen, I’ll ask you some questions and we can chat about how I might be able to support you.
We want to be successful, but we need to keep things simple, right ladies?
The last thing we want is to be over complicating things.
Realising you haven’t posted anything to your Facebook Biz Page in 5 days so desperately trying to think of something to post as you rush out the door for the school run and coming up blank… isn’t fun.
This is why, if you can get ahead of the game and make time in your week to batch some content and schedule it to go out.
How exactly is a busy mama entrepreneur like yourself supposed to create all this content, you could well be wondering.
You can’t spend the entire week creating content! You’re lucky if you have a couple of hours a week for this stuff, right?
It’s no wonder then that the thought of content creation can get you down.
Lucky for you then, that one of my 3 key areas of expertise is SIMPLICITY. I am allergic to difficult. To unnecessarily complicated.
That’s why it is always my mission to find ways to make your life and business easier and simpler. You want to spend the majority of your working hours in your zone of genius, doing the money-making activities. And you want to spend ample time with your family, and - let’s be honest - some time for yourself would be good too, wouldn’t it?