The first book I ever read (ok, listened to, I’m all about audiobooks now I’m a mother) about money mindset poked me.
It made me properly uncomfortable.
I didn’t even finish it the first time.
And I definitely didn’t do the suggested homework.
But something kept me coming back to that book.
Something had been sparked inside me, a teeny tiny flicker of a flame. A small flame of belief that maybe I could change my financial reality. Maybe I didn’t always have to feel like there was never enough.
It took me quite some time to realise that my resistance to the concepts in the book, the reason I would feel a bit… well, ick… after listening to a chapter was because I was being forced to confront something.
I was being forced to confront the fact that I had been letting fear get in the way of my success in life.
I was being forced to confront the fact that I held limiting beliefs about money.
Beliefs such as:
// Only greedy people are rich
// Who am I to think I could possibly be rich?
// If I was rich, I would lose my friends
And on and on.
Maybe you can relate?
If you can, I am writing this blog post for you, my love.
As I have stood where you are now. I have felt that same fear. I have hidden from my dreams and desires.
But at some point, something in me changed. Shifted.
And now I embrace my desire to be a Money Making Mother unapologetically.
And I would LOVE to inspire you, empower you, give you the permission you might be seeking, to do the same.
So let’s dive into the signs that fear is the driving force and see if we can flip the switch so you start letting desire drive the bus.
1. You think that wanting to make lots of money would make you a bad person
We unwittingly tote around all manner of crazy, false beliefs about money. Our society loves to throw about phrases such as “money is the root of all evil”.
Here’s what I came to understand though: money is just energy. No more, no less.
Money is neutral.
Money can be used for evil, sure. But money can be used for so much good too.
Money is necessary. We literally cannot live without it. So why hate it? It’s like hating air.
The trouble with these limiting beliefs around money is, that they hold us back…
… from thinking about what we would really love to do with lots of money
… from being open to new money-making opportunities
… from taking inspired action to make lots of money
They get in our way, block our path, keep us stuck, keep us playing small, and cause us to self-sabotage.
If you want your business to be a success, you need to let go of your old beliefs about money and reprogramme your mindset with new, more supportive beliefs around money.
You need to get excited about what money could do for you. What you would specifically do with lots of money.
That will be your driving force.
2. You worry about how your partner/family/friends would react to you making lots of money
We have an inbuilt desire for acceptance. It stems from the times when we lived in tribes. It kept people part of the tribes, and therefore safe, fed.
Instead of chatting to the people important to us - in particular our partners - about what it would mean if we had a lot of money, we keep quiet.
We worry that they’ll laugh at our ambition. We worry that we might emasculate our husbands if we suddenly earned way more than them.
We do nothing. We let this imagined reality stop us from taking action and moving forward.
Face up to your fears about what becoming a Money Making Mother might mean for your relationships. Ask yourself if your fears are valid, based on 100% fact?
Have conversations with your partner about what life would be like if your business really took off and you started raking in the cash. I bet you’ll be surprised and your assumptions about reactions will be unfounded.
Decide that you want to seek validation from within first. Don’t temper your vision of success to suit others. Your vision of success doesn’t have to be diminished in an attempt to make it more palatable to others. Be the shining light. Go after your success and know that in doing so you will inspire others around you to take action, to follow their desires.
3. You feel undeserving of making lots of money
As mothers, we spend so much time putting the needs of others before our own.
We are too often at the bottom of the heap.
The problem with this, when it continues for long periods of time, when we are ALWAYS taken care of last, is that we can start to believe that we are somehow less important.
That our needs, our desires, are less important.
We feel like our dreams are less worthy.
But the problem is, if you don’t feel deserving, you won’t invest the time and money into your business that it requires to propel it towards success. Because our businesses are extensions of ourselves.
And without sometimes prioritising our business, financially, with our time, it will stay stuck. You’ll struggle to bring in consistent income. You’ll only ever make “just enough”, or perhaps less.
Get in touch with your dreams and desires. Make them specific and get excited about them. You deserve to live your best life. If you create your dream life for yourself, that won’t make you selfish. That will mean that you get to show up as the best possible version of you. You will radiate light and joy, which will benefit all those around you.
Start prioritising yourself sometimes. Show yourself that you are deserving of time, care, attention, support, money.
4. You’re scared of letting go of your martyr status
Ok before you throw something at me, let me just say that this is something I really had to work on myself, so this comes in no way from a place of judgement.
And if you’re feeling prickly at the suggestion that you, deep down, kind of enjoy being a martyr, then it is likely because you’re being forced to confront it.
But realisation leads to transformation, my love.
I recently wrote this post on Facebook about how we need to take a leaf out of men’s books on self-care after my friend and I had a lightbulb moment.
We both realised that we had been guilty of almost enjoying the martyr status.
I had spent years, feeling validated in my choice (I see now that is WAS a choice) to stay stuck in my corporate role that sucked my soul dry at times, because “it wasn’t possible to find another way to make this money and work flexibly”. And then I loved to tell the woe-is-me story about how, where I worked, “part-time” was considered 30 hours a week.
I spent years, never telling my husband it was my turn for a lie in, just getting up, sighing in a passive-aggressive way when our daughter called out at 6 am.
I won’t bore you with countless other examples. The point is, I think we’ve all been there.
And make no mistake, this martyr badge absolutely WILL prevent you from achieving your vision of success, of making lots of money if you let it.
So even if you hate to admit it but you can see that this is something you’ve fallen prey to then honour that feeling and throw away the martyr badge.
Burn it even.
Recognise if you have been playing the martyr with your business. Somehow believing that it HAS to be you to always pick up the childcare slack. That is HAS to be your business which takes a hit. That you can’t be a great, present mother AND make lots of money.
Let go of all beliefs which limit you and which play up to the martyr status.
Start to open yourself up to the idea of possibility and opportunity instead.
Because whatever your circumstances, there is ALWAYS a way to make motherhood and business and making money work in harmony.
You just have to be open to the idea.
5. You think that earning lots of money will make you a bad mother
This is definitely something that got in my way in the past.
I believed that I had to sacrifice. That I couldn’t do work that lights me up AND work flexibly AND make lots of money.
For years, I equated earning lots of money with working long hours and feeling stressed out. I knew that if I was working all hours and stressed out, I wouldn’t be able to be the kind of mother I want to be.
Wanna know the oh-so-excellent news? (I suspect you know what’s coming by now).
I was wrong! Thank f*ck for that.
When I started out with my business I made a DECISION.
I DECIDED I was going to earn lots of money, I was going to work flexibly, I was going to do work that lights me up.
I was going to create a Flexible, Fulfiling & Profitable business - no coincidence that this became the framework I use now for clients - and then I was going to help other mothers do the same.
I am living that dream already. I created success very quickly (you’ve heard about me replacing my investment banking salary within 3 months of launching and growing month on month from there, right?!?).
And the best part? I created that success whilst working 25 hours a week, often less.
Yes, I did that for me. For my family. But I also did that for YOU. To prove this is absolutely possible.
To be the living, breathing, part-time working, money making PROOF that dispels this unhelpful myth.
Because here’s the problem...
Believing that earning lots of money will mean you can’t be present (emotionally and physically) for your children will ultimately just limit your earnings.
Whether you are doing it consciously or not, believing that you can’t be a great mother and earn lots of money will keep your business stuck.
It will keep you from leading your best possible life.
And why WOULDN’T you want to live your best possible life?
I certainly want you to live your best possible life.
So now that you know that you CAN have it all.
You CAN be a great mother AND earn lots of money.
You CAN do work which lights you up and is of service to others AND earn lots of money.
So now that you know that…
My question for you is: are you going to?
Are you going to let go of this limiting belief, this unfounded fear?
Are you going to open yourself up to money making possibilities and embrace a life of fun and ease and financial abundance?
Are you going to step into your role as a Money Making Mother?
Are you going to DECIDE that you can?
The first action you need to take is really that simple…
The best way to knock down all of these fears in one fell swoop is to take massive action.
Do one big, really quite scary thing.
One thing you’ve been telling yourself you “can’t” or “shouldn’t” do.
Take a leap.
Taking a leap is an act of faith.
Faith in yourself, faith in possibility, faith in your deserving of your dreams and desires.
If you want to stop letting your fear be greater than your desire to become a Money Making Mother, book a FREE Clarity Call with me.
Can you give yourself that gift of time? Of possibility? Can you make that first step on your path to success?
Let’s have a chat about what has been keeping you from stepping into your role as a Money Making Mother. Let’s talk about the ways I could help you to propel your business forward without sacrifice or overwhelm.
OR even if you don’t think I’m the coach for you, go and book a call with someone else. That other person you’ve been following, who knows a thing or two and could shortcut your path to success, whose energy is infectious.
OR finally book yourself onto that course you would love to do but have been telling yourself you can’t justify right now.
Don’t wait for someday.
Someday never comes.
Don’t wait for “when I’m finally doing x or receiving y THEN I’ll take this leap”.
You only get to that x or y BY TAKING THE LEAP NOW.
Make a decision.
Decide that even if you have no idea how, you are going to be a Money Making Mother, damn it!
You are enough.
You are amazing.
You deserve this.